Here’s the video you wanted to see. Watch Ridgely break down at the end of Chapter 1—very intimate and revealing. Click on the video now!
Watch Ridgely break down in Chapter 1–very revealing.
“Since I couldn’t read it myself, here’s the begining of the book. Take a look…” Ridgely
Chapters 1, 2, 3 & 4 of The Great Ones(click on link above – pdf opens in new window)
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Hey Ridgley, you are a very good narrator. You do the voices quite well. I would like to hear your full book at audible.com
I just five minutes ago finished apologizing to my son for assuming he had lied to me about something. Clicking on this link in my email ended up being very timely for me and most likely not a coincidence.
Tonight, my son asked me if I still had some songs on my computer that I asked him about a week ago. These songs were songs that were downloaded onto my computer without me knowing and I asked him if he knew where they came from. He said that they sounded like songs from one of his video games, but he had no idea where they came from or how they got on my computer. We tried to figure out how they might have gotten on the computer but we couldn’t come up with any answers. We left it at that, and I had no inclination assume he was being dishonest with me.
When my son told me tonight that his friend from school wanted the album of songs that were on my computer, I became suspicious and started to ask him questions. My son immediately became defensive and angry and asked why I was accusing him of lying. This made me more suspicious, but I remained “cool-headed” while I watched him melt down. By the end of our conversation (which I ended) I was convinced he was caught in a lie. As best I could in a loving manner, I tried to let him know that his peace of mind is all that matters to me and that the only way he could have peace is by telling the truth.
His mom asked me to see the situation from Allen’s point of view, but I was willing to bet my life that there was something that my son was hiding or felt uncomfortable about us knowing. I researched the history on my computer and found a website from the day of the downloaded music called “Mad Gravity Radio” with a tag line saying, “It’s like porn for the ears.” I showed my wife the website and had her convinced.
However, when I showed my son the website, it was clear to me that he had never seen the site before. I did some more investigating and found that this website was somehow linked to a website that he had asked his mom permission to play games on. We figured out that the songs must have downloaded from this site without my son’s knowledge while played the game and reached different levels.
I apologized and gave my son a huge hug, but my heart feels broken. How did I let myself make this false assumption when I felt I was being so clear and conscious? It was a huge lesson in humility for me and I’m grateful that I was at least conscious enough to see it to a peaceful place … and grateful for my son’s resilient ability to forgive.
I am appreciative of all the mentors in my life that have at one time or another been an inspiration. The most influential have been the listeners, but also helpful were the rational evaluators, the companions, and those that were just always there. What has come out of that is I am the listener and a bit of all the other. My stupid mistakes or behaviors also became my educators. Over a period of time I have become more at peace, less critical of myself and of others. My Christian faith is my foundation and the well from which I draw. There have been many things in my life that could have caused me to “blame” others of feel bad for myself, but I choose not to go that way.
I have had your old fisherman in several of the people in my life and am most grateful.
Your story reminded me of the good people and the good decisions in my life.
I am so sorry that you had the early childhood that you had but admire how you have found (or are finding) a journey to a rich life. You are a helper.
awesome!! much to think about in this great life we all share thanks ridge, dr dallas and others who move and inspire others!!– dr tony calandro — st louis mo.
Interesting. I’m sure you will touch many people who can relate to unpleasant memories from their childhood. I remember one night, when I was about 11, being very upset after a tirade about cleaning our bedroom, or studying, or something. I wanted to bring Dad’s rifle in from the barn and tell him that, ‘If he hated me so much why he didn’t just kill me’. I didn’t do it because I was afraid that he would. Many years later, when my nieces and nephews were growing up, I realized what innocent little people children are and couldn’t imagine being so threatening to them. I know that Dad was trying to make us be the best he could but always finding fault and never giving praise or acknowledgement for exceeding expectations leaves a deep scar. A couple of years ago, after hearing some motivational CD about how you could (and should) love yourself even if you doubt the love of others, have I begun to think that I do deserve that. Waiting until you are in your 60’s for that revelation makes you realize you have wasted a lot of opportunity for happiness.
It was very to hear Mr. Ridgely. I thought it was a story of some but when i heard that it was a true story of yours as a boy from you i really cried out along with you the same time you cried. I am really imperessed to hear that. Hope to hear more from ’cause iam also emotional in cenrtain times when i hear certain peoples stories like this. Your’s friendly duke and most of all have a happy christmas month throughout this month.
Hi Ridgley, I had a very different image of you as a trillionaire. I am deeply moved, and I might not write my sad story, but start rewriting my life right now to get to that place where I see you standing now.
‘Course I’ll get the book. Thank you for sharing openly your heart and bless you for wanting to help others like me out!
Love,
Jorge
It wae fantastic to hear you read your book Ridgely.We all have a story book inside us if we are willing to write that book.I left home when I was just 13yrs went to high school until 15yrs pay for my education by working a partime job.I had only just seen all my brothers and sisters 2 years ago. some I haden seen for 20years of my life.When I look back where I have came from to where Im today. I feel so blessed and grateful that I made alife for myself.My dreams are high and I know some day soon I will be the awesome public speaker out thier. Touch people lifes in many ways.On that note have a brillant Christmas and a wonderful new year for 2010.
Brought a tear to my eye as it made me think about how lucky I am that I was able to have my father and mother as a wonderful mentors growing up. I’m not perfect but I am a person with good values, I’m an important part of my husband and children’s lives, I’m honest, I am a valued friend, and can now see myself as so much more. I owe these things to my parents. Things weren’t always easy but I have been more fortunate than many. Hearing this today reminded me to keep close to those important mentors that helped to mold me into who I am
Hi Ridgely,
Well, your name is very new to me but I was very moved by your reading. Thank you for sharing from the depths of your heart. If I were to share it would be of one of my most painful moments which took place almost 30 years ago, far away in the city of Montevideo, Uruguay. I was newly married and my husband and I were expecting our first child, after many months of trying. The pregnancy went very smoothly and right on due day Rachel decided to make her grand entrance. I still remember the sound of her first whimper as she entered the world. It was then that we realized something was wrong. She was wisked away before I even had a chance to hold her. Only a beautiful blur… We were told that her lungs did not develop properly. The next morning they decided to move her to another location for more intensive care. 33 hours after hearing her little cry, she was gone. I felt such undescribable sorrow. I never got to touch her, never got to look into her little face and tell her I loved her. She was just gone. My anger and hurt were directed toward God and for such a long time I decided not to talk to Him. Yet, He was there in so many different ways. That is when the poem “Footprints” was so popular. When I first read it, I knew the words were true. When I felt that God had abandoned me, is when I later saw that He had been carrying me. I now, have three grown sons and would not trade them for the world. God and I are friends again and heaven is that much closer to my heart knowing I will see her again, one day. Thanks for letting me share. I have found that this terrible experience has enabled me to speak comfort to others who have miscarried or lost thier babies soon after birth. Many times I don’t speak, but just listen to thier hearts.
Best wishes, Becky
When I was growing up, I lived a life of inner turmoil from the confusion of mental illness running amouk in our family. I set my goal to be a better mother than my own mother whose angst caused her to treat me in a passive/aggressive way. Passive/aggressives seem to make victims out of the ones they can affect the most. Therefore, I was her prime target and I learned my role of victimhood well. Yet I determined that the lessons I learned from her would not be repeated on my own children. I would be the best mother ever. Still, I married a passive/agressive man who also controlled me by guilt and left me to handle every hard thing in our family. I did it well as long as our children were small. I taught them in Godly matters, loved on them much, gave them exciting and happy experiences, but as they grew and were caught in the middle of my husband’s calm exterior and my loud reactions to his refusal to lead, protect, or help with the hard matters in life, I felt that so much of my tenderness was taken away in the midst of simply doing what needed to be done. With much of the instability that characterized my family, when the stresses became residually high, I became continually loud and pressure filled. Through many years, I begged my husband for help with the children to no avail. I was considered by my children as the awful parent while my husband, who was the “yes” man was hyped as the great parent. It has taken my 35 year old daughter from her teen years until age 34 to see me as the one who guarded her safely and had wise counsel for her. She regrets that her views toward me and her distain for me were so skewed. I forgive her. My second daughter is still in awe of how great her father was and wishes she could have had a compassionate mother. If only she knew. My youngest daughter is self-centered and only responds to those who stroke her self-centeredness which I refuse to do, so I am an ogre in her eyes.
I am sorry for Mr. Ridgely and the abuse he obviously took for a long time, and I am grateful for his mentor. Yet, in my case, I feel that my children have so much defined me by my worst moments that they have obliterated my abundant great moments in their own minds and do not acknowledge that I was all for them. Sometimes, young ones define things by what they are too young to grasp and hold that view even when they can come to grips with it and see it from a larger view, one that gives them perspective if they want it.
I could write a story about my mistreatment as a child, but I choose not to as my mother’s demons do not need to be exposed. For me, I rely on my great and mighty Lord to be my security. Nor do I need to live today in the guilt thrust on my by my husband, who is learning, during years of family counseling, how to relate in a more healthy way. And, yes, I will give myself the title of “good mother” who in human failure also taught my children about the true and living Lord who has no failings.
After listening to your narrative I am once more inspired and motivated to tell my story. I have thought of writing it many a times but pressures of day to day activites have prevented me from doing so. I will commit to do it now. Some have unique upbringing and life experineces which others can relate to and even learn from. Some stories are so eye opening and inspiring. In these days when many are disillusioned, I believe my story will help appreciate what America is all about. Being born in India and migrating to USA by itself is not unique but way I went through my life experiences in my motherland and in this land of freedom and opportunties will make an interesting reading, I beleive.
I will buy your book. Thanks for the video narrative.
I remember you in Altafulla, we used to go to school in Barcelona. You were a dear friend to me then and I have not forgotten. Even in those teenage years you were so clearly going to be someone, you already had that aura about you of somehow being set apart.. I look forward to reading your book, and send you dear love.
Best Ridgely and Nik,
thanks video, its great and so moving story.
All the best
Mirva from Finland
Thanks for sharing your past, it is so nice to see so many offering help and advice to better ones life. I am going through an interesting period of my life at present, Im 44 years old and have two investments with other peoples money involved. The situation if rather dire at present and has been a constant thought throughout my daily life. I have been living away from my family for most of the past 4 years endeavouring to fix this situation.
I was very fortunate to be offered a job at something that I do very well. It has given me the grounding to address the situation and also spend 3 months getting extremely fit. It is through this experience and the knowing that I have two great sons back in Australia that judge me on being a father and nothing else. This is one thing I am good at. My attitude and self esteem with having achieved a level of fitness that I had when I was in my mid 20’s is the first step in changing the attitude I have towards life. Self image is extremely important and I see myself in the present as a better person and one with a great future. I love the comment “If your in hell then keep on going” wow that made me smile.
To all out there, it is a great world, with great people with positive and helpful attitudes. Lets stay positive and be willing to help others when we can, I know it comes back 10 fold.
I wish all out there a great day and future.
Regards
Scott
I also cried tears when listening and watching your video. There are many, many moments in my life that would share. Some are more painful than others. Some I remember more vividly than others. But, there is one situation that happened later on i life that hurt me more than anyone would ever know. In my heart of hearts I so desperately want to write this store down, word for word, line upon line and precept by precept. I want to include the individual names involved also figuring that, if my story is true, then they could not by any stretch of word deny that they felt the way I wrote aout. I do notlie and I do not appreciate people who take sides especially if those people are in a position of authority and have the power to do something about contentions and dissentions amongst people who are supposed to be brothers and sisters in the Lord.
I desperately want to tell my store of an entire family who turned on a faithful convert to a very big church in America.
I so want to tell how that family turn their entire family off to that demure and sweet individual an then turned an entire group of sisters off to that young and sensitive and spiritually involved woman.
This young woman for one reason or another would not marry the other woman’s son. She said nothing bad about him but the power that arose out of Regina Ellis’s spirit against Lynda was a big as a the entire universe.
She turned her entire family off to Lynda and then she turned he entire Relief Society against Lynda too. And, Lynda once again in her life has felt the pain and angst of having people she cared about turn on her.
“Oh POOR LYNDA! BOO HOO!” the voices in her head would MOCK. “POOR LYNDA!” in a mean and downgrading tone. Mocking until it cut the very soul inside of a woman who could share pain more deeply than she ever imagined. “Poor Lynda” Without the sensitvity, just cold cruel mocking came ouf of the mouths of the sisters of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
As she finally decided to get the words out on pAper to ell the story of the Truth about the Truth of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saintsn.
If not to understand that her story was not the only story that has come outo f the church over the years. Nothing is ever perfect. These sorts of things happen in any group one decides to associate with.
But, the lies started with the young male missionaires who bribed Lynda, without her knowing it at the time, that if ‘you become’ a member’, ‘you’ll be married in no time!”…..
Well, these young 19 yea old boys knew better than to bribe someone who desperately wanted a normal life with marriage when they knew full well that it would never happen for Lynda
OH why talk about others in such a public way? One might ask? Why share your story at all? There is such a thin line between sharing for learning and sharing for revenge….it belittles an individual in a big way. And, oh what JOY the others will get to know that I have been so disgraced!
Oh what Joy the others will get….
And, then it will be too late!
The damaged would have already been done. And, there will be no way back. And, oh what joy the Ellis family will have…and don’t you want to join THAT CHURCH?
OH how uncanny it is to behave in such a way and yet to share the Gospel and to profess that this is the TRUE Church..!
For this is the way to be….put down Lynda and mock her through and through because she was unsure about your son as a husband. Very nice isnt it…put her down turn others against her and make sure that becausse you are the Relief Society President that you should have power over to Bishop to take your side.
Very nice isnt it….then mAke a fool out of Lynda by having the Missionary Sisters beg her to go out visiting with them to share that ever loving Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Then the Ellis family can come back to laugh their heads off.
Very nice isnt it…and God thinks its the right way to be….????
Very nice isnt it?
I dare any publisher to publish this work…who has the courage to reval what really happens in such a sacred Church…
Who would have the audacity to write such words especially when they are so true? Why would anyone want to write such negative things about the wealthiest church in the entire world.
Why?
Because it matters, that’s why…and it begs to be told, that’s why…
So, listen if your ears will allow you to and feel in your hearts the pain of what it feels like to have people who once were your friends to turn against you now!….
They encourage you to tell the truth and be honest but then once you are the entire world turns against you again….
This is way it is in the Bible? I dont think so….If Repentance truly works, then the repercussions of admitting the truth before your Heavenly Father should not be so hard to handle.
I am no long sure about religion. I am no longer sure how good it is to follow others. I think one needs to find their own true place in this world all on their own and to do what they know in their heart to be right for them. Not what is right for the entire group.
For what is right in society is right and to follow the laws is what is right. But sometimes it takes A breaking away of what used to be a real foundation. It takes some adventure. One needs to feel for themselves what it would belike to turn their whole world upside down to find out new and greater vista, where new places and new people exist and new experiences pumps the soul so as not to get so stuck in the mud.
Thank you for sharing, I was deeply moved.
Lynda
I was very humbled to listen to your story’ l to like many people have stories to tell. I wish l had the guts to do what you have done. I to am a surviver. A victim of sexual abuse as a child thus still to this day leaving many scares across and around my heart, I hold onto it to protect me to keep me safe cause if l stay morbidly obese no-one will try to get in. I was also phisically and mentally abused as a child and a young mother and l regret everyday what l put my 2 older children through. L feel l have been given a special gift in the arrival of my 3rd daughter who at the age of six was diagnosed with a brain tumor. she was the sweetest little angel you could hope for from the day she was born l have nearly lost her so many times that i have lost count. My Baby is now 17 and l thank god for her as l feel she is my life’s lesson. At times it is really difficult but she is still with us who knows for how long as she is morbidly morbidley obese dure to the surgery and damage to her bran. I have been told by to clairvouants that the answer to her problems is in America. So hopefully one day we will be able to make it to America and see what can be done.Lostening to you has opened my eyes to the trauma ithers go through and rndure. I wiss you especially jove and best wirhes, and also to people who are either going through a telly rough patch and also a very big thank you for opening us to all of us, Many thanks lynette from Australia
Thanks for showing me that I can just read my story from my book, Jenny’s Journeys: Celebrating Life One Step at a Time.
I don’t need to have a professional read my story because the words are from my emotions of OvercomingWithGrace.
Thank you for sharing your emotions. I hope that you will see and hear me read my story just like you have.
Jennylyn Hart
coming soon http://www.OvercimingWithGrace.com
Thank you Ridgley and thank you everyone for sharing your hearts! Its all about… Fences in your Mind!
I’ve watched the movie Chicken Run at least a half-dozen times. Just beneath the surface of its simplistic look and story line lie a number of wonderful messages told through the eyes of a bunch of Claymation chickens trying to break out of their chicken-wire world to escape their fate at the chopping block. Their freedom leader, a feisty little hen named Ginger, comments profoundly in one scene: “the fences are all in your mind.” She reminds her fellow chickens (and us), that a bigger obstacle than the physical fences they’re surrounded by are the mental fences that hold them captive.
It’s been a good reminder for me on those occasions when I’ve been dealing my own mental fences…those created by self-doubt, uncertainty, fear. Can you relate? Where have you fenced yourself in mentally in recent days or weeks? Perhaps your mental fence is procrastination, a deadening habit that keeps you stuck. Maybe yours, like mine, is related to self-doubt, and the on-going internal noise it produces that keeps you immobilized. Perhaps yours is the belief that you don’t deserve success, so you sabotage yourself to avoid having to find out how successful you could be. There are a million variations of the theme, but the result is still the same: we stay stuck like the chickens in the movie.
“Its the start that stops most people”. – George Mato
One of the key questions in the Best Year Yet program is: “How do I limit myself and how can I stop?” Those limitations are never external. They always live inside us. The antidote to being trapped by our mental fences is to create a compelling enough vision that, like Ginger and her flock of chicken friends, we’re willing to resort to amazing measures to break out. The formula:
VISION + CONSISTENT ACTION = FREEDOM!
I challenge you to take some bold, even outrageous steps to break free of your mental fences. If it’s procrastination, declare a “freedom day” and take action on everything you’ve been putting off: from cleaning your office to making phone calls or responding to emails you’ve avoided.
If it’s self-doubt, sit down and write out everything you value and why it’s important. Then challenge yourself to eliminate anything that doesn’t absolutely reflect your values, or add something that is a profound statement of who you are.
FREEDOM IS JUST THE OTHER SIDE OF ACTION.
Recognize that your mental fences can only keep you stuck as long as you’re looking at them. They can only contain you as long as you’re not taking actions consistent with your vision. Go ahead, take the action you’ve avoided and leap into a future filled with possibilities. And remember, the fences are all in your mind!
Live life with permanent purpose!
George Mato, President & Co-founder
The Luxury Group
Redefining Luxury Living in America’s Number One Playground
10033 South Lake Vista Circle
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida 33328
T.786.301.7500
Ah, yes, to remember where we have come from and how much better we are now. Learning lessons meant to learn to share and help others. Sometimes it takes longer for some to work through the problems, but when completed, the wall is torn down and faith is renewed in those who before we put down. Listening to someone else’s plight, helps us to deal with our own. And if we have made it, can share how they can do the same. Each has their own unique story, yet when sharing can help others to see they are not alone. One thing I learned from the incest of family members, when the earthly father forsakes us no matter how, the Heavenly Father is always there for us to reach out to. He forgives us, and we need to learn to forgive ourselves.
I am in the progress of writing my story, so this one is an example of how to write my own. Thanks for sharing!
Ridgley, thank you for sharing your story. Your story only reminded me of how blessed I was to have the wonderful parents I did. My mother and father were tremendous people as well as tremendous parents. They weren’t rich or famous – just kind hard working folks. My father never hit my mother or any of his children – I never heard him raise his voice to anyone. He had a way to approach you put his hand firmly around your arm and express that he was disappointed in your decision or action. That was all it took to get my attention. My mother and father rarely ever mentioned that they loved us – but they didn’t have to, their actions told us that in everything they did.
My father passed away 5 years ago – I talk to him every day to let him know I will never forget him and never stop loving him.
Two months ago my mother passed away – I spent the last night of her life with her. It was worth all the money on earth to me – just to have those few prescious hours alone with her to let her know how much I loved her. We then stood at her bed side for the final few hours of her life watching her struggle to take each breath – until she finally passed and went to be with my father and our Heavenly Father.
Now I talk to them both each night trying to let them know they are thought of daily and missed tremendously.
Life changes when you’ve lost your parents – it’s never the same again. I would just say to those who had good parents to love them and let them know you do, for the day will come all too soon when you will speak but they won’t be there to respond.
As we move on in life we should take lessons from our parents (good or bad) – and make sure that we all are the kind of parents we would have wanted to have.
Hi Ridgeley
Ive been striiving all my life to achieve my dreams. 30 years later Im stiill striving and sometimes Im filled with despair and frustration.
But look what you have done its fabulous and I congratulate you both on your honesty and your acheivements and I wish you many more in the future.
Way to go Ridge and I will keep on striving to.
Patrick
Dear Ridgley,
Thank you for sharing your heart.
Although it was a tough road for you – you grew from it and are able to share enough with others to make a difference in thier lives. Your story and inspirations will help heal many hearts.
Its funny but sometimes in life we go through things for a reason. Not always is the reason obvious but somewhere down the line it all makes sense.
In order for us to be a teacher – you must have experience.
I also wrote a book this past year. Being ever so grateful for those who inspired me to tell my story I am humbled.
I thank God for our generation and how it has cultivated a new way of living. No longer are parents raising the rod as many years ago. The pattern is now changing.
So much more can be accomplished through love and guided direction.
I hear this in my mind over and over – Forgive them for they know not what they do. It’s not a bandaid for the past transgressions that were placed upon us but a healing way to adjust our lives so we can live it fully and whole.
I received this about you because a friend of mine read about you and heard your story. YOU inspired him and because of that he wrote me and sent your link to me as a must read.
Here is what he wrote to me:
My dear Denise –
Scroll down – and read this man’s letter and listen to his story – it is so moving
PS – you too have made a huge difference in my life. I am grateful to have the best friend I can have that really is
so kind, grateful, caring and always been there.
Clay
So you see Ridgely- how amazing you are? YOU ARE making a difference in others lives.
May God bless and heal all your pain and may you prosper greatly!
Sincerely,
Denise
you struck a thunder bolt right away with- “if you are going through hell- dont stop”
Just by that statement you have proably saved me – I look forward to reading the book and perhaps meet you some day- You are the great one!!
Thank you
Namaste
We all have a story and that story creates the magic in our lives. Thank you for sharing a part of your story. Where do I purchase your book?
In Feb this year I published my story and to so many peoples surprise it was the ‘real’ one. Called ‘Get Real! Why wouldn’t you?’ by Mia Munro
I recently found the thrillionaires, have met Nik in the past and can see the magic of what you are doing. I will meet you at the moon or somewhere in between.
Authentically me
Mia Munro
Thank you for the sincere bravery of sharing your story. I look forward to reading the rest of your book. *Believing* and *visualizing* is “where it’s at” during the uncontrollable moments in life. Do know that your faith has brought you to this very moment as you read this. I congratulate you as you share the energy/light within yourself, which is connected to the greatest power of all, that which ultimately, we all share and *are*. Thank you for clarifying moments in all of our lives by writing yours. Brightest of all continued Blessings and Successes.
We all travel believing ourselves to be alone in our suffering then suddenly the light dawns – we’re not alone – we have each other – we connect.
If we don’t have the bad we wouldn’t know the good when it comes into our lives.
Diane.
Well, I am stuck in a similar but different memory pattern, in that I have had a pretty unhappy marriage for many years, and have failed to handle it successfully. I have allowed my negative patterning (from my growing up years) to negatively imprint my children, and it feels like I cannot seem to get above the judgments & memories and limitations enough for Forgiveness to wash it all clean. Sometimes it feels like things are better, but I am older now and getting tireder, and allowing related beliefs to slow me down. I was feeling down when I saw your video, if I hadn’t felt down already I may not have responded this way. Perhaps I will just need to keep forgiving and keep forgiving; I am tired of feeling hurt etc and so perhaps the thing to do is love myself enough to just shift out of this negativity and create something more useful. I am pretty tired of it and the self-pity; might as well do something different. Think I will look for ways to bring Love into whatever I am doing. Take good care & best wishes, Carolyn
hi went true a similar expirience coming up in life hi ad a very abusing father bot to myself my mother and every one my only problem in life today are my insicurity but hi am doing well in life hi am a biliver of all that is good thre is a god and this as been my support in life i am a70 years old a twin your reading touch me god bless you tony murrell from boston
Ridgely, I enjoyed your reading and will look for your book. You asked for our true stories, here’s one of mine. Hope you like it.
A Boy and His Dog
By Ken Bingham
I was 10 when Kingo came to live with us. He was about nine months old, still a pup yet nearly grown. A short-haired German Shepard he was, with a beautiful, tawny brown coat and a black muzzle that made him look like an unshaven hobo dog.
Have you ever seen a dog smile? Some of you will know what I’m talking about. Those of you who don’t, take my word for it, they do smile. Kingo smiled all the time, tail always wagging, just wanting to be with me.
Ever noticed how little a dog asks of its owner? Just some food, water, a place to sleep, an occasional pat on the head and they’ll do anything for you. He’ll guard you while you sleep, protect you with his very life. We’ve all heard the stories of the faithful canine that lays at his dying master’s side, licking his wounds. Yes, dogs are special.
We lived miles from the nearest neighbors in the Arkansas hills. During the summer months I was pretty much by my self. I would never play paper dolls or make mud pies with my sisters. After breakfast Kingo and I would be off to the woods to explore, being gone all day most of the time. He was my best and only friend and the adventures we had! You see, we could communicate mentally. Don’t laugh, it’s true. Together we knew every rabbit trail, every ground-hogs’ den. The woods were our kingdom.
There was a type of tree that grew back then, of the elm family, we called them chick-a-pens. They grew a spiny cluster that contained the tastiest nuts on God’s green earth. We’d often spend the day gathering and shelling these tasty morsels and eating to our content. Sometimes we’d walk for miles to some large farm ponds with a cane fishing pole and a mess kit, some cooking oil, and catch a mess of giant bullfrogs. We’d build a small campfire and fry up the frog legs and eat some watercress with them, washed down with icy cold spring water.
Kingo taught me to see the magic. There was a remote low valley, far from any roads, where giant ferns grew and the musky scent of ancient rotting logs and stumps hung heavy in the air. This is where the little people lived. Though I never saw one for myself, Kingo knew they were there, and I believed him. We would tiptoe through the valley with a reverence so as not to disturb the wee folk.
But the magic and the innocence were not to last forever. You see, Kingo also had a primal killer streak. Not his fault; as with all animals, it’s in their makeup.
One day, toward the end of summer, Kingo took up with a distant neighbor’s dog. A bad influence I’m sure. Together they marauded a turkey grower’s farm, killing several prize breed toms. The owner was expectedly upset and he spoke to my dad about the event. He said if the animal was destroyed he wouldn’t ask my dad to pay for the loss of several hundred dollars. The code of the hills is that a destructive animal cannot, will not be tolerated, and it’s the responsibility of the owner to administer execution.
My older brother was 17 and couldn’t wait till deer season to see what his new 303 British deer rifle would do to a solid flesh and bone target. He volunteered to be the executioner. I was fully aware of the code of the hills and could accept the outcome. I was told it would help me to grow up and that he was just an animal and I would have to learn to live with it. But still, when you’re only 10 and you watch as your only and best friend gets his heart blown out….
I didn’t cry, I just felt dry inside, like a barren arid void was spreading inside. A void that felt nothing for anyone or anything. I saw the crimson streak down the beautiful tawny fur, the eyes lifeless and glazed over, and the smile … the smile he had was gone … forever.
As I buried my friend I took a first giant step toward what I call a stone soul. A place that would stay with me and grow even more through my self-destructive teenage years and far into adulthood.
I can think about this now, and write about it here. It’s been a long, painful journey back from that arid place. At least now I can look back through the misty folds of time and see a boy and his dog, seeking adventures and dining on chick-a-pens.
Ken Bingham is a production technician/writer/photographer and native of Northwest Arkansas. He writes short stories, poetry, and historical nonfiction about the area, and has two novels in the works.
I have learned it to be one of the boldest steps to take in a life time. Scary for not knowing what to expect… but more frightening not going there. A WALK TO OUR PAST… AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHO WE ARE TODAY…
The most amazing part of it is taking control of our future, once unmasking and understanding our own personal history.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Claudia
Thank you for sharing.
I grew up in challenge and adversity and I was also given gifts to see me through them. Still today these gifts keep coming to remind me of where I have been and knowing I am still here. Now I only invite the good in my life and see the win win situation in everything. For I know we are all loved by something greater than ourselves and that is what makes the journey worthwhile. My goal is to open my heart to all life and love. Sending you blessings of joy and peace.
Love and Light
Elsie
Dear Ridgely,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is to teachers like you and the compendium of knowledge that they have shared that we owe the progress of humankind.
Cathy
Aloha Ridgely,
Thank you for sharing your story. I was touched by the pain you suffered and yet, you used it as a vehicle to help others learn how to hopefully handle similar situations through the wise old man. To have overcomed the difficulties and today, having a family that you deeply love (earlier videoclip where you mentioned your wife was filming you and your daughter came into the picture wearing your boots clearly showed how you cared for them). And to put together the Thrillionaires as a way to help each other–you’ve got a big heart. Thanks for inspiration.
V/R,
Earl
Ridgely,
I appreciated your story and the stories of those who have already shared here. I grew up in a home where my father was controlling, heavy-handed, and put way too many unreachable expectations on his little girls. He did not know how to give a complement and did not know how to show affection. My mother was very emotional but did not stand up for my sister and I. There was no clear and loving communication at all. There were suspicions on the part of both parents that the other had committed some wrong and they either put us in the middle of it or the silence was deafening. I grew up hating myself. From the time I could remember I thought of myself as fat and ugly. (Looking back at pictures, I was neither) It was just an image I created because of the turmoil spoken, unspoken or administered with the hand. I became a perfectionist at a very young age trying to please a father that couldn’t be pleased. I went looking for appoval else where as a teenager and found sexual abuse instead. I got married at 19, pregnant 5 weeks later and had a baby to take care of at 20. Finding out soon that I had just married to escape, we had a rough and rocky road ahead. When my third son was almost 3 I had a nervous breakdown. I had married a passive/aggressive man who would take on no family responsibilities. Now that I was not functional he became the sole provider for the boys. I went in and out of mental hospitals 32 times during a period of 8 years. He became the hero for a short period until he buckled under the pressure of taking care of me and 3 young boys in a couple of years. Now there were two broken parents trying to take care of three young boys. While I was going through all of this I made some profound changes in my life. I have worked really hard on loving myself. From time to time I still mutter, “You are so fat and ugly” “your stupid”. But for the most part I have deprogrammed myself. Although I am still a very nervous person, I can now laugh and have fun with my boys like I did when they were little. This month is the 25th wedding Oh, if I only had the knowledge I have now,way back then. But I think we all are faced with a major challenge or two or more, in our lives and it just depends!…..are we going to turn and run, stand in the symbolic fires of hell and wallow, or walk right on through to the other side to be a stronger better person?
Kim
Thank you for lending yourself in such a vulnerable way. It must have been very hard for you at that time. I am so happy you made it and were able to write about such an experience and be on the other side to share it. That’s inspiration enough!
Thanks,
Debbie
You are truly brave to share your story with all of us. It has to be at least somewhat healing to be able to express the hurt, the anger and confusion over what was happening to you. I too have had a childhood that wasn’t the best, but have found many things to be thankful for and it is in being thankful that I found my release and some relief from the pain. Blessings to you as you continue on your journey to freedom from the past, and may your story help free others as they read and relate to your experience.
I love the book and your reading of it was so personal. Sharing helps in the healing process that all of us who have been hurt must go through. You are stronger as a result of the hurt you endured. Thanks for be so brave and honest. I will share your story with others.
I have gone thru some terrible time during my chldhood and carried with me thru my adult years. My self esteem? There was none. But the love I have for others is very strong. I have hidden most of my life behind my children and my husband. I worked hard and gave all I could give to please everyone except my self. Then after 32yrs of marriage, putting my husband thru college to earn 2 degrees, he left me for a 20 some year younger woman.I was devastated, ashamed and felt as if I failed again. I hid and locked myself in my own home for almost 1 year. I was so deeply depressed and all i wanted to do was die. Why me? That was all I could think of and ask of the Lord. Why? I beleive we are all delt these trials for a reason. Mine? I know that the Lord has a better plan for me? Don’t know yet what it is. But each day here is a gift from the Lord. I have been divorced 1 year now and he has married the bimbo he left me for. I struggle each and everyday with the little hills I have to climb. But with the grace of the Lord he helps me. I try each and everyday to become a better woman. One that is worthy.
This reading bring to mind things I experienced as a child. As an only child I spend much time fishing and in the farm with my aunt and her children. I was always a good thing to be among my cousins at their homes.
Today we have an uncanny bond and most people think we are siblings.
I am convince you are placed in situations that make you stronger.
I can identify with your story, I also came from an abusive childhood. When people ask if I am from a broken family I have to answer no, my family is finely crystalized. I never knew my father, he committed suicide when I was just a couple years old. My brother and sister always told me it was my fault our father was dead (it actually was because of alcoholism). My mother went on to marry several more times each one ending badly. I never received love or any kind of affirmation from my mother. At one point she told me if she could have afforded an abortion I wouldn’t be around to bother her. Throughout my childhood I was abused physically, emotionally and sexually by my mothers various husbands/lovers. I never have experienced true love and always fear abandonment from those I let close. Even as we speak I am in the middle of a divorce from a 22 yr marriage, my wife was having multiple affairs. I have finally examined myself and I have worked through a lot of my childhood issues and hurts. I use what I have learned to move forward and build daily on that to become stronger. I have always sold myself short to make sure I am accepted by others and to make my wife happy. Now that I know who I am and I have accepted me for being me I am happy. I am happier than I have ever been. I’ve finally taken the trash to the curb so to speak and I’m free to move on and live a happy healthy life.
Hi, I wrote last night when I was pretty down, but had a very comforting talk w/ some family members & felt much better. I wanted to tell you that I hope your book is deeply healing for you. The pain you carry is deep, and I hope that you also receive much comfort from supporting people who you value & care about, and that you are able to touch many lives for good. I hope for you also that your Christmas season is filled w/ love, comfort, & cheer, and also that they touch your soul and bring relief from the burden you carry. Perhaps sharing your story will assist others in realizing the quiet burdens that their neighbors may be carrying and bring forth compassion. Best Wishes, Carolyn Wheeler
Your presence is our gift and your story our present.
g,day Ridgley we all have our story to tell i have 2 brothers 3 boys my mother has 4 sisters my dad has 1 sister i have 3 daughters one set of twins 19.19,21 man it,s hard bringing up girls. i am a builder so i work with blokes most of the time exept when im in the office with the misses (the real boss)crying is for girls ,,,,,,, only kidding sometimes i feel like crying just looking at the beutey off the 4 women in my life true blessings not allways valued in the now . married 25 years man it goes by quickly blink and you miss it,, thanks for your honesty mate p,s you need drawing lessons
Thank you so much, you are not alone it is Real! Thank you so much for sharing!
I can understand the pain within the story. For years my dad worked diligently on punishing me for the insecurity he created in my life that led to bed wetting as a child. Memories of having to kneel beside my bed, with hands behind my back,as my nose was stuck in the spot of the offense is still clear in my mind but not in my spirit. Jeremiah 29:11 is the predominant focus and I know the plans and forgiveness that God has for me and others. I’m reminded of the scripture that says, “in this world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer, Jesus has already overcome the world.” Maybe a little to scriptural for most, but my hope in confidence is in a heavenly Father who has more than filled in the empty places left by a cruel and unloving earthly father who passed a couple of years ago. I know of his childhood pain but that never justifies the infliction upon your children. Great story and thanks for sharing with true openness and humility.
thanks it was very moving and touching
Ridgely, dear friend ~
I surfed over to the Thrillionaires page after Nik sent out his email (link no longer works, but thankfully, I still had the original View notice) and the video wouldn’t work from my iPod, so I’m finally getting back to you after a long weekend. I was hesitant to hear your story, for fear it would stir up sadness in my heart, not only for you but for me.
My mom & dad bickered at one another all of my life, but it was mainly airing their frustrations verbally, for lack of communication skills. I was the youngest of four and by the time I came along, they had learned that corporeal punishment was a big waste of time, thanks to my older sibs.
Instead, I was raised on guilt trips, which seemed to work pretty well 😛 Still, I felt loved and thought my family was close; in fact, I really had no idea our family was “dysfunctional” (of course, we didn’t use that word back in the 60’s :P) till I grew up and my older brother took his life. I was so grateful for Jack Canfield’s reassurance that almost everyone has a similar story to tell, as he summarized his own in “The Secret.” Thank God for mentors, who push us to climb out of the pits & scale the highest mountains!
Now, I’m like you and steer clear of all of the negativity and emotional rollercoasters as best I can, and that’s another reason it took me so long to decide to return and hit the play button. Like someone else commented above, I really didn’t want to see you fall apart. I prefer my image of you as a healthy, happy, successful adult — but I’m proud that you were able to overcome such adversity and muster the courage to put it into words. I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of the story. Thank you for sharing your life and life’s work with us all ~
{{{BIG HUGS}}}
Penne & the Crew :o)
Oh, those auto-smileys get me every time! 😛
Hello Ridgeley,i can feel the pain and the emotion in your heart as for the past 50+ have lived in the shadows of my elder brothers and sisters.I am the youngest of seven children,i had three sisters,the eldest gloria died some 12yrs ago and my other two are stil alive one of which lives in san diago(audrey)and my youngest linda in england where we were all born and grew most of our early adult lives on sprawling council estate in cheshire,poverty was rife.My three brothers are stil alive god bless them.I migrated to queensland australia in spring 1988 to statr a new life for myself unawares i bringing all the negative baggage with me.All the hand me downs and put me downs recieved from my piers who your taught to respect and look up to.My dad did his best as a single parent to bring us all up,as my mother who i never met until i was 40+ years old here in australia as my marrige to had failed.My parents seperated when i was two years of age.We were a dysfunctional family,lot of arguments,slamming of doors,crying from sister linda etc etc.All i wanted to do was play,cow boys and indians,john wayne,alan ladd,glen ford etc were all my heroes love watching them,even snaglepus(what happened to him)
I have an untold story which one day i put pen to paper.Thanks again for sharing some of your story with us.
Love and Light Nigel